








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 860 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1443 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 849 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,003 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larry | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Egil | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Luk1e ⊙ bets.gg | 2 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Johnny L | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jubek | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larry | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Johnny L | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jubek | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ᚾᛁᛚᛋ | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Egil | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |





