








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1110 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1580 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1484 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,221 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 𝗜𝗡𝗩 | FckThtSht .𝕋𝕚𝕥𝕠 | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | • WRW • Nagasaki | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | • WRW • ♱y` l ☠ BoyKa | 38% | 39 |
| #13 | ✠ DOUBLE G ✠ | 35% | 20 |
| #14 | • WRW • SampLe | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | • WRW • ♱y` l ☠ BoyKa | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | • WRW • SampLe | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | •WRW•๔๏ภк_𝟜𝟚™ | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | 𝗜𝗡𝗩 | JS-10 | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | • WRW • ΔĆΔβ | 4 | 0.0100 |





