








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6367 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5889 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6002 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5143 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,652 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | • WRW • ✪ Tємρlє ッ | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | TIO JEL | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | • WRW • Nagasaki | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | • WRW • ΔĆΔβ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | 𝗜𝗡𝗩 | FckThtSht .𝕋𝕚𝕥𝕠 | 7 | 0.0051 |





