








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1440 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1407 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1121 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,402 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 啊哈哈鸭 | 43% | 95 |
| #5 | . | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | Leo | 42% | 179 |
| #7 | Bála | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | PJAY_CAXINAS | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OS COTAS- Orelhas^^ | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Leo | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 啊哈哈鸭 | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | «Pjay_caxinas» | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | . | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 742 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | «Pjay_caxinas» | 708 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | OS COTAS- Orelhas^^ | 181 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | PJAY_CAXINAS | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | . | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neves PvZ | +2.06 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | OS COTAS- Orelhas^^ | +1.99 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | . | +1.12 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | «Pjay_caxinas» | -0.82 | 55 | 63 |
| #5 | Bála | -0.82 | 57 | 60 |





