








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2026 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 680 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,634 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaperArt | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Sadendipity | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | Hotline Testis | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | cake | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Bald cunt | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Z! | +3.25 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | Bald cunt | +0.66 | 56 | 41 |
| #3 | PaperArt | -0.83 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | Sadendipity | -0.83 | 57 | 39 |
| #5 | Hotline Testis | -1.05 | 44 | 33 |





