








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5971 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6770 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6268 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5859 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,367,467 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toucan | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Anarchyshadow | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | πΎππ© | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | LITRULLY | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Soybean | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Steppa | 640 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | πΎππ© | 308 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nick Zutter | 266 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #4 | Anarchyshadow | 264 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | AirBorn01 | 156 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soybean | +2.84 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Saint Yaint | +2.83 | 56 | 75 |
| #3 | πΎππ© | +2.32 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | Anarchyshadow | +1.75 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | Toucan | +1.20 | 71 | 62 |





