








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 24% |
| Smokes | 894 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 390 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,751 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aura monster | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | v_v | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | kovix | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Witch Of Larp | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Noname | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 9 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | Olivia Rodrigo | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ☆ | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | v_v | 4 | 0.0214 |
| #5 | Witch Of Larp | 3 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v_v | 66 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #2 | ☆ | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Noname | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Olivia Rodrigo | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Witch Of Larp | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aura monster | +4.84 | 51 | 59 |
| #2 | ☆ | +3.17 | 59 | 76 |
| #3 | bálint kirk | +0.33 | 61 | 26 |
| #4 | Witch Of Larp | +0.21 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | Noname | -0.38 | 74 | 45 |






