








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5347 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5480 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3916 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3211 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,111 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ Ruxxii | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | ✪ SNX | 51% | 51 |
| #6 | ✪ bOchaN_ | 50% | 261 |
| #7 | Maceter0 | 49% | 127 |
| #8 | Crema De Porro | 48% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crema De Porro | 312 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪ Ruxxii | 299 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ bOchaN_ | 234 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Maceter0 | 216 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ahsikimeh | 154 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SNX | +3.35 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Ahsikimeh | +2.88 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | Zero Two's Man-Slut | +2.82 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | ✪ Ruxxii | +1.00 | 57 | 58 |
| #5 | Flawes | +0.69 | 54 | 72 |





