








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 755 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2623 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3303 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 8958 | 51% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,220 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P@P@ SMURF | 48% | 81 |
| #2 | *!Shadow_Wolf!* | 38% | 265 |
| #3 | 女王 Hakari | 38% | 50 |
| #4 | f1shy | 34% | 59 |
| #5 | DarkVenom | 31% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P@P@ SMURF | 48% | 81 |
| #2 | *!Shadow_Wolf!* | 38% | 265 |
| #3 | 女王 Hakari | 38% | 50 |
| #4 | f1shy | 34% | 59 |
| #5 | DarkVenom | 31% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *!Shadow_Wolf!* | 24 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | P@P@ SMURF | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | f1shy | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | 女王 Hakari | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *!Shadow_Wolf!* | 521 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | 女王 Hakari | 197 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | P@P@ SMURF | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | f1shy | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | DarkVenom | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1shy | +2.39 | 69 | 52 |
| #2 | P@P@ SMURF | +1.47 | 46 | 55 |
| #3 | *!Shadow_Wolf!* | -0.32 | 46 | 42 |
| #4 | Y0dA_112 | -2.03 | 17 | 44 |
| #5 | 女王 Hakari | -2.59 | 16 | 57 |





