








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4049 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4007 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2021 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2988 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,893 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squidward | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Hebisuzawa | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | wundeeh | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | PeaseCentral | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | sascha | 53% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Starfy | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | Serce | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | ◥◣ . ◢◤ | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Shooric | 50% | 62 |
| #10 | minecraftmarco2008 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sascha | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Starfy | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Shooric | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | minecraftmarco2008 | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | wundeeh | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sascha | 875 | 0.27 | 23 min |
| #2 | Shooric | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | wundeeh | 167 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | squidward | 147 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | Starfy | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squidward | +3.59 | 96 | 56 |
| #2 | sascha | +1.77 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | Starfy | +0.96 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | Hebisuzawa | +0.89 | 87 | 68 |
| #5 | wundeeh | +0.49 | 78 | 73 |





