








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 720 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8258 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6918 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7994 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8383 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,109,595 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u wat | 53% | 303 |
| #2 | jobune | 50% | 60 |
| #3 | offl1ne | 49% | 737 |
| #4 | Vanapaps | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | ✪ rMj | 41% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u wat | 53% | 303 |
| #2 | jobune | 50% | 60 |
| #3 | offl1ne | 49% | 737 |
| #4 | Vanapaps | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | ✪ rMj | 41% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | offl1ne | 64 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Vanapaps | 22 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | u wat | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | jobune | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | ✪ rMj | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | offl1ne | 1978 | 0.13 | 52 min |
| #2 | u wat | 672 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | ✪ rMj | 368 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Vanapaps | 219 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | jobune | 134 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | offl1ne | +2.41 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | u wat | +1.10 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | jobune | +0.67 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | Vanapaps | -1.01 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | ✪ rMj | -1.44 | 57 | 56 |





