








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 340 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2242 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 225 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 2370 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,331 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeNnY | 40% | 182 |
| #2 | Bob Target | 40% | 231 |
| #3 | Buwu | 39% | 290 |
| #4 | jewish gaming | 38% | 92 |
| #5 | Cloth | 35% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bob Target | 40% | 231 |
| #3 | Buwu | 39% | 290 |
| #4 | jewish gaming | 38% | 92 |
| #5 | Cloth | 35% | 71 |
| #6 | Clooth | 32% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeNnY | 61 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Buwu | 33 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Bob Target | 22 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | jewish gaming | 13 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Cloth | 13 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeNnY | 758 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Buwu | 478 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | jewish gaming | 352 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bob Target | 236 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Cloth | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeNnY | +6.72 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Buwu | +0.78 | 22 | 45 |
| #3 | Cloth | -0.31 | 33 | 54 |
| #4 | Bob Target | -1.18 | 33 | 31 |
| #5 | jewish gaming | -2.44 | 23 | 51 |





