








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2583 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2295 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1357 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,918 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIX | 48% | 25 |
| #2 | Beau Pribula Believer | 46% | 50 |
| #3 | Nick Newport | 38% | 92 |
| #4 | Bwuh | 36% | 88 |
| #5 | Sensei Bobby | 35% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Beau Pribula Believer | 46% | 50 |
| #3 | Nick Newport | 38% | 92 |
| #4 | Bwuh | 36% | 88 |
| #5 | Sensei Bobby | 35% | 138 |
| #6 | benny | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensei Bobby | 24 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Nick Newport | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Bwuh | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | benny | 10 | 0.0199 |
| #5 | NIX | 4 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bwuh | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sensei Bobby | 143 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | benny | 99 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Beau Pribula Believer | 58 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | NIX | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benny | +7.11 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | NIX | +4.93 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | Beau Pribula Believer | +3.81 | 46 | 46 |
| #4 | Bwuh | +1.32 | 21 | 37 |
| #5 | Sensei Bobby | -1.15 | 30 | 26 |





