








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 253 matches | ||
| Wingman | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11828 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6634 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6279 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4931 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,009 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ψ !Mx! ︻芫 --- | 49 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Oops !!!.exe - Doui - 56k | 18 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Keyser_Bricks | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Totodileuh (Kainé) | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | vidaleeeuuuhhh | 8 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turocks | 639 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #2 | Ψ !Mx! ︻芫 --- | 549 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | vidaleeeuuuhhh | 508 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | Totodileuh (Kainé) | 452 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | Keyser_Bricks | 424 | 0.11 | 8 min |





