








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4196 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2730 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 473 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,704 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | pooter | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | fart | 55% | 49 |
| #9 | EVIL PIGEON | 52% | 44 |
| #10 | Raffie | 46% | 41 |
| #11 | NICE BRIAN | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EVIL OWL | 19 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | EVIL EAGLE | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | EVIL PIGEON | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | peter file | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | NICE BRIAN | 5 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EVIL OWL | 503 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | EVIL EAGLE | 461 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | peter file | 129 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | NICE BRIAN | 109 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | fart | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |





