








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 528 | 19% |
| Smokes | 511 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1126 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,569 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnHyzer | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Viz0M | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Sevtsik | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | Remka | 58% | 76 |
| #5 | Sanka | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remka | 260 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Le´Jägermeister | 102 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Viz0M | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | HaPpY | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | AnHyzer | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |





