








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1576 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2383 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1914 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1692 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,580 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobody | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | yuu | 46% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobody | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | yuu | 46% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuu | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | nobody | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuu | 712 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | nobody | 202 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobody | +1.51 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | Patchouli Knowledge | +0.92 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | yuu | +0.68 | 73 | 54 |





