








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1019 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 807 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,281 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ライン川 | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Razemus | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Bogeyman | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Lord Fishman | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Razemus | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Bogeyman | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Lord Fishman | 47% | 104 |
| #6 | cptwhale | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogeyman | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Chapadopolous | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Lord Fishman | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | cptwhale | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Razemus | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogeyman | 392 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | cptwhale | 350 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 238 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lord Fishman | 150 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ライン川 | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「Remedy : Plastic Heaven」 | +0.62 | 63 | 40 |
| #2 | Chapadopolous | +0.59 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | cptwhale | -0.10 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | Razemus | -0.13 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | Bogeyman | -0.44 | 36 | 82 |





