








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3423 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2381 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4056 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2046 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,760 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cptwhale | 822 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bogeyman | 421 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 165 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lord Fishman | 124 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lamar | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |





