








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 492 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9376 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8401 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3827 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 6065 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,608,334 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jordan r | 50% | 289 |
| #2 | Murt | 49% | 494 |
| #3 | bigdeal67 | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | John sangwich | 45% | 215 |
| #5 | Jangus | 45% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Murt | 49% | 494 |
| #3 | bigdeal67 | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | John sangwich | 45% | 215 |
| #5 | Jangus | 45% | 157 |
| #6 | Carson | 44% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Murt | 94 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | John sangwich | 59 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Jangus | 42 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Carson | 42 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | jordan r | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Murt | 853 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #2 | Carson | 275 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | bigdeal67 | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | John sangwich | 192 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jangus | 129 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jordan r | +2.54 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | yvert | +2.37 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | bigdeal67 | +1.34 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | Carson | -0.91 | 59 | 54 |
| #5 | Jangus | -1.30 | 68 | 38 |





