








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1991 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2012 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1745 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,952 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1933 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jordan r | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | yvert | 44% | 154 |
| #3 | John sangwich | 44% | 177 |
| #4 | Murt | 42% | 170 |
| #5 | Jangus | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jordan r | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | yvert | 44% | 154 |
| #3 | John sangwich | 44% | 177 |
| #4 | Murt | 42% | 170 |
| #5 | Jangus | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John sangwich | 49 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Murt | 41 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | yvert | 40 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Jangus | 28 | 0.0237 |
| #5 | jordan r | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yvert | 766 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | Murt | 345 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | John sangwich | 212 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jangus | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | jordan r | 42 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jordan r | +3.32 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | yvert | +2.04 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Carson | +0.12 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Murt | -0.82 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | Jangus | -1.44 | 64 | 41 |





