








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1678 | 40% |
| Smokes | 644 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,768 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | star | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | zushi | 92% | 12 |
| #3 | haru | 91% | 11 |
| #4 | sovereign | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | tsu | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sovereign | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | tsu | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | cloud | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | dawn | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | slit | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slit | 16 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | sovereign | 5 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | dawn | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | zushi | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | haru | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slit | 150 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | dawn | 110 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | sovereign | 31 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | tsu | 24 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | haru | 24 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zushi | +16.33 | 100 | 63 |
| #2 | star | +9.75 | 100 | 48 |
| #3 | sovereign | +5.05 | 98 | 31 |
| #4 | tsu | +1.56 | 91 | 59 |
| #5 | cloud | +1.20 | 81 | 51 |





