








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1763 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,011 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Snidare | 37% | 19 |
| #13 | Lil' Babs | 33% | 52 |
| #14 | Danne Dunk | 33% | 43 |
| #15 | HUSMANxGurra | 31% | 49 |
| #16 | Greta Tuborg | 21% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jörgen Mathiasson | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Greta Tuborg | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | N!bla ツ [A$AP EITTÄÄ] | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Flajsen | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | HUSMANxGurra | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shirda | 225 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jörgen Mathiasson | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | HUSMANxGurra | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Flajsen | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lil' Babs | 126 | 0.11 | 4 min |





