








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,448 | |
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2147 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2237 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2143 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,956 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Doktor Mugg | 44% | 108 |
| #9 | Snidare | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | f1 | 42% | 62 |
| #11 | FD GUD 2.0 | 40% | 42 |
| #12 | Lil' Babs | 40% | 62 |





