










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 23% |
| Smokes | 195 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 223 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 191 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,683 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Cha0s | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | 0559 | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Cpt. Fentanyl | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Dr Bob | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0559 | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Cpt. Fentanyl | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Cha0s | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Dr Bob | 1 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | Doc | 1 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cruehh | 130 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cpt. Fentanyl | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | 0559 | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Verjeys | 15 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr Bob | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cha0s | +3.98 | 69 | 49 |
| #2 | Doc | +3.79 | 39 | 59 |
| #3 | Dr Bob | +3.39 | 33 | 37 |
| #4 | 0559 | +2.84 | 43 | 53 |
| #5 | Cpt. Fentanyl | +2.41 | 58 | 47 |





