








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 203 | 31% |
| Smokes | 104 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 134 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,408 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FABULOUSSS | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Randall | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Dantez | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Suulut | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | xhesi | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | xhesi | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | .SYR3X^ | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | Ben Baller | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | venerable | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | EmRe | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .SYR3X^ | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Dantez | 31 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #3 | xhesi | 21 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | venerable | 19 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Randall | 11 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FABULOUSSS | +10.97 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | xhesi | +6.71 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Randall | +3.59 | 70 | 73 |
| #4 | Dantez | +3.46 | 64 | 79 |
| #5 | sto | +1.90 | 79 | 44 |





