








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 327 | 24% |
| Smokes | 147 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 344 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,481 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Boaz | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | peanutbutter | 41% | 29 |
| #4 | PRIVATE_KIP | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | jessenogiets | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Boaz | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | peanutbutter | 41% | 29 |
| #4 | PRIVATE_KIP | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | jessenogiets | 37% | 49 |
| #6 | Deomen | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessenogiets | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | peanutbutter | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Banana | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Boaz | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | PRIVATE_KIP | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peanutbutter | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Boaz | 80 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | jessenogiets | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Deomen | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Banana | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boaz | +5.46 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | PRIVATE_KIP | +2.34 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | Banana | +1.77 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Luuc | +1.59 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | jessenogiets | -1.44 | 30 | 43 |





