








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 35% |
| Smokes | 32 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 361 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,656 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessenogiets | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | peanutbutter | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Boaz | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | PRIVATE_KIP | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Luuc | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessenogiets | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | peanutbutter | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Boaz | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | PRIVATE_KIP | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Luuc | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessenogiets | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | peanutbutter | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | PRIVATE_KIP | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peanutbutter | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Boaz | 27 | 0.45 | 0 min |
| #3 | jessenogiets | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | PRIVATE_KIP | 16 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Luuc | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRIVATE_KIP | +5.25 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Luuc | +2.40 | 61 | 34 |
| #3 | Boaz | +0.94 | 37 | 39 |
| #4 | jessenogiets | +0.28 | 32 | 41 |
| #5 | peanutbutter | -0.38 | 22 | 47 |





