








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2356 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 206 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,017 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polly | 48% | 54 |
| #2 | inter | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Nitro_Hunter | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | PolPot | 41% | 188 |
| #5 | JamJohn | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PolPot | 41% | 188 |
| #5 | JamJohn | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | Peach Mk.II | 37% | 60 |
| #7 | Rose | 35% | 62 |
| #8 | Spreadsheet | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PolPot | 43 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Rose | 32 | 0.0284 |
| #3 | polly | 15 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | JamJohn | 10 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | Peach Mk.II | 9 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PolPot | 245 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Peach Mk.II | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rose | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | JamJohn | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nitro_Hunter | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamJohn | +2.97 | 32 | 42 |
| #2 | PolPot | +2.79 | 59 | 50 |
| #3 | inter | +2.65 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | polly | +1.80 | 50 | 25 |
| #5 | Peach Mk.II | +1.28 | 51 | 43 |





