








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2166 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,057 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solomons Proxy | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Sandwich | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | peg me mommy | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Negevs in Paris | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Micdou00 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solomons Proxy | 134 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | peg me mommy | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Micdou00 | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Negevs in Paris | 23 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sandwich | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solomons Proxy | +2.25 | 57 | 59 |
| #2 | nikki | +1.99 | 60 | 56 |
| #3 | peg me mommy | -0.13 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Negevs in Paris | -0.55 | 14 | 28 |
| #5 | Sandwich | -0.89 | 41 | 27 |





