








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1470 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,052,514 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | angelpuppy | 41% | 122 |
| #5 | peg me mommy | 38% | 60 |
| #6 | the rupert <33 | 37% | 73 |
| #7 | nikki | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | Bingus Garfunkle ☢ | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angelpuppy | 37 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Bingus Garfunkle ☢ | 16 | 0.0264 |
| #3 | Chxrlie | 10 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | peg me mommy | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Sandwich | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angelpuppy | 528 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Chxrlie | 351 | 0.42 | 7 min |
| #3 | nikki | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | peg me mommy | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bingus Garfunkle ☢ | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chxrlie | +1.87 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | Negevs in Paris | +0.78 | 23 | 36 |
| #3 | nikki | +0.37 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | Sandwich | -0.82 | 37 | 27 |
| #5 | peg me mommy | -1.18 | 68 | 64 |





