










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 577 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5901 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5062 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4103 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4097 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,525,742 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 49% | 103 |
| #2 | Noname | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | señor sas | 46% | 120 |
| #4 | Noname | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | Puck Enjoyer | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noname | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | señor sas | 46% | 120 |
| #4 | Noname | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | Puck Enjoyer | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | Magit | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Puck Enjoyer | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | señor sas | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | señor sas | 424 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Puck Enjoyer | 241 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | Noname | 128 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Magit | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noname | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.74 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | Noname | +0.75 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Puck Enjoyer | +0.50 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | señor sas | +0.01 | 57 | 61 |
| #5 | tj5- | -0.67 | 62 | 52 |





