










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 533 matches | ||
| Wingman | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3691 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4907 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5235 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5083 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,535,862 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Killvoid | 45% | 373 |
| #6 | Shoona | 44% | 151 |
| #7 | Shiitith | 44% | 595 |
| #8 | Hardhat | 42% | 609 |
| #9 | Jaded | 40% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiitith | 27 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jaded | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Killvoid | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Chair-Senpai | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Hardhat | 5 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiitith | 1261 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #2 | Chair-Senpai | 1024 | 0.37 | 7 min |
| #3 | Killvoid | 778 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | Shoona | 376 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hardhat | 374 | 0.03 | 8 min |





