








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5066 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5663 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6570 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6727 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,758 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Serin | 44% | 595 |
| #6 | Shoona | 44% | 144 |
| #7 | Chair-Senpai | 43% | 104 |
| #8 | Hardhat | 42% | 512 |
| #9 | Jaded | 38% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaded | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Killvoid | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Chair-Senpai | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Serin | 4 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Hardhat | 4 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chair-Senpai | 752 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | Killvoid | 738 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Serin | 542 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #4 | Shoona | 368 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hardhat | 330 | 0.03 | 7 min |





