








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3884 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1519 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1506 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2095 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,649 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lee | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | Y9p | 53% | 135 |
| #6 | KENGOG | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | Aquatic animal | 50% | 58 |
| #8 | ToeKneeAy | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9p | 943 | 0.34 | 25 min |
| #2 | Soulzy | 477 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | Lee | 376 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #4 | Aquatic animal | 144 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Saith | 133 | 0.08 | 2 min |





