








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6312 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4420 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2703 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4592 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $902,472 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glep | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | chill | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | UwU Jesus Chan | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | soren | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | aam | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9p | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | UwU Jesus Chan | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | aam | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | soren | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Soulzy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9p | 1108 | 0.30 | 31 min |
| #2 | kam | 532 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | aam | 393 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #4 | Soulzy | 225 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | Zyuwu | 191 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ara toe she | +1.95 | 67 | 71 |
| #2 | glep | +1.75 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | +1.75 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | aam | +1.54 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | chill | +1.52 | 73 | 53 |





