








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14650 | 35% |
| Smokes | 10045 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10411 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6625 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,662,441 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EcliptiC SolaR | 52% | 139 |
| #2 | #controlling | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | 1 million cigarettes | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | caYabo | 46% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EcliptiC SolaR | 52% | 139 |
| #2 | #controlling | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | 1 million cigarettes | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | caYabo | 46% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #controlling | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | 1 million cigarettes | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | EcliptiC SolaR | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | caYabo | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EcliptiC SolaR | 498 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | #controlling | 196 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | 1 million cigarettes | 194 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | caYabo | 188 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackout ッ | +1.54 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | #controlling | +0.62 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | 1 million cigarettes | -0.79 | 47 | 45 |
| #4 | caYabo | -1.43 | 36 | 60 |
| #5 | EcliptiC SolaR | -2.37 | 39 | 49 |





