








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5022 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4530 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3953 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3476 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,499 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 757 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittlez | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Float | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Tова́рищ | 58% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittlez | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Float | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Tова́рищ | 58% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittlez | 10 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Tова́рищ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Float | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittlez | 214 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Float | 79 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tова́рищ | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Float | +2.37 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | Skittlez | +1.94 | 72 | 39 |
| #3 | BinkySTG | +0.85 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | Tова́рищ | +0.23 | 63 | 41 |





