








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4491 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4079 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7154 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,014 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero | 48% | 118 |
| #2 | Imeasycupcake | 48% | 156 |
| #3 | Geezy | 47% | 347 |
| #4 | Earthquake-R9 | 47% | 302 |
| #5 | GoldenCoachTK | 45% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Imeasycupcake | 48% | 156 |
| #3 | Geezy | 47% | 347 |
| #4 | Earthquake-R9 | 47% | 302 |
| #5 | GoldenCoachTK | 45% | 101 |
| #6 | G59 | 42% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G59 | 51 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Earthquake-R9 | 43 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | GoldenCoachTK | 34 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Geezy | 26 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Imeasycupcake | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G59 | 932 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Earthquake-R9 | 516 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Geezy | 486 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | Zero | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | GoldenCoachTK | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoldenCoachTK | +2.92 | 56 | 30 |
| #2 | Tова́рищ | +1.24 | 68 | 37 |
| #3 | G59 | -0.51 | 41 | 52 |
| #4 | Zero | -0.79 | 49 | 44 |
| #5 | Earthquake-R9 | -1.74 | 22 | 55 |





