








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 36% |
| Smokes | 56 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 274 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,175 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akira | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Baqco | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | HugoS | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | SletteStrandツ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akira | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Baqco | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | HugoS | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | SletteStrandツ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akira | 2 | 0.0183 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baqco | 46 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| #2 | SletteStrandツ | 28 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | HugoS | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Akira | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SletteStrandツ | +4.16 | 46 | 73 |
| #2 | Akira | +4.09 | 50 | 45 |
| #3 | Baqco | +1.16 | 28 | 92 |
| #4 | Kevin | +0.26 | 31 | 47 |
| #5 | HugoS | -1.61 | 11 | 54 |





