








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 42% |
| Smokes | 130 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 446 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,225 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibo | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Chestertjeh | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | spx /n/ | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Z𝖊m𝖊✘ ❤ ᴳᵒᵈ 10 | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aansteker | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | spx /n/ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | tibo | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spx /n/ | 182 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Z𝖊m𝖊✘ ❤ ᴳᵒᵈ 10 | 114 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aansteker | 77 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chestertjeh | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aansteker | +2.74 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | spx /n/ | +2.19 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | B0ttemB0T psykic | +0.53 | 56 | 80 |
| #4 | ✪ FormyStar | +0.38 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | ZERAF | -0.18 | 88 | 75 |





