








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 229 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,866 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FormyStar | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | spx /n/ | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | Z𝖊m𝖊✘ ❤ ᴳᵒᵈ 10 | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | Aansteker | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aansteker | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | -KwaadMeneer- | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | ZERAF | 20% | 5 |
| #8 | Heacker | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aansteker | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ✪ FormyStar | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | -KwaadMeneer- | 1 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spx /n/ | 282 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | Z𝖊m𝖊✘ ❤ ᴳᵒᵈ 10 | 174 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 105 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Aansteker | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ FormyStar | 44 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aansteker | +3.14 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | spx /n/ | +2.77 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | ✪ FormyStar | +0.69 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | Heacker | -0.86 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | -KwaadMeneer- | -1.18 | 89 | 52 |





