








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1918 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,951 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuc | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Voodooville | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | IGOR! Great in bed | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | kal$u | 59% | 287 |
| #5 | Wallheck | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kal$u | 59% | 287 |
| #5 | Wallheck | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | kaleb1wowjesus | 55% | 60 |
| #7 | CREAMOR | 54% | 56 |
| #8 | SanttU | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kal$u | 34 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | CREAMOR | 14 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | SanttU | 14 | 0.0203 |
| #4 | kaleb1wowjesus | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Wallheck | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kal$u | 481 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | kaleb1wowjesus | 117 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | SanttU | 114 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wallheck | 72 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | CREAMOR | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awsy2 | +3.65 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | kal$u | +3.27 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | Voodooville | +1.11 | 77 | 44 |
| #4 | Wallheck | +0.60 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | SanttU | -0.43 | 67 | 31 |





