








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1870 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1787 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,124 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loki | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | yuzeri | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Dragonax | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | Dewdrop | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Alex -Sortifal- | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dragonax | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | Dewdrop | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Alex -Sortifal- | 52% | 81 |
| #6 | peufgeul | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | | Aieclakx ☨ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dragonax | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Alex -Sortifal- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | peufgeul | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Dewdrop | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex -Sortifal- | 426 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dragonax | 207 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | peufgeul | 126 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Loki | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | yuzeri | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dragonax | +2.46 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | Loki | +1.44 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | ThurnaX | +0.26 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Alex -Sortifal- | +0.24 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | | Aieclakx ☨ | -0.50 | 55 | 61 |





