










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 18% |
| Smokes | 310 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 762 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,075 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stef | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Apie2 | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | BritishBean | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | Leoliic | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | GroovyCrazybean | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Apie2 | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | BritishBean | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | Leoliic | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | GroovyCrazybean | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | Truus | 42% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Truus | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | BritishBean | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | GroovyCrazybean | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Stef | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Leoliic | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BritishBean | 280 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | GroovyCrazybean | 95 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Truus | 80 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stef | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Leoliic | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BritishBean | +5.22 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | GroovyCrazybean | +4.20 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Stef | +3.76 | 86 | 36 |
| #4 | Apie2 | +2.49 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | Leoliic | -0.94 | 58 | 21 |





