










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1495 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,255 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polski ogórki | 21 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | service | 18 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | da | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | (6.5) Angel ^_^ | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Z1 Alpha | 4 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | da | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | service | 76 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Polski ogórki | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | (6.5) Angel ^_^ | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Z1 Alpha | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |





