








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1479 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1761 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,381 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nelstay | 44% | 129 |
| #2 | s3rgei | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | DaveyZ™ | 40% | 205 |
| #4 | growing gas | 40% | 99 |
| #5 | FeebleDrankard | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | s3rgei | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | DaveyZ™ | 40% | 205 |
| #4 | growing gas | 40% | 99 |
| #5 | FeebleDrankard | 32% | 28 |
| #6 | Donaldus Magnus | 24% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaveyZ™ | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Donaldus Magnus | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Nelstay | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | s3rgei | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | FeebleDrankard | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaveyZ™ | 561 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nelstay | 549 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | growing gas | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | s3rgei | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Donaldus Magnus | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nelstay | +5.09 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | DaveyZ™ | +1.46 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | s3rgei | +0.23 | 44 | 50 |
| #4 | growing gas | -1.27 | 49 | 45 |
| #5 | Donaldus Magnus | -2.55 | 28 | 33 |





