








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 252 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3512 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3310 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3699 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4484 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,419 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klud7311 | 62% | 243 |
| #2 | White Guy | 60% | 342 |
| #3 | Funky Kong | 60% | 258 |
| #4 | rhau | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Berber Gaybie | 53% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klud7311 | 62% | 243 |
| #2 | White Guy | 60% | 342 |
| #3 | Funky Kong | 60% | 258 |
| #4 | rhau | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Berber Gaybie | 53% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funky Kong | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | White Guy | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Klud7311 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Berber Gaybie | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | rhau | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Guy | 158 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #2 | rhau | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Funky Kong | 61 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | Klud7311 | 54 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Berber Gaybie | 28 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhau | +4.24 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Charles E. Cheese | +3.71 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | Klud7311 | +1.50 | 29 | 27 |
| #4 | Funky Kong | +1.14 | 52 | 12 |
| #5 | White Guy | -0.73 | 19 | 45 |





