








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2265 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1862 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,104 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fat Tony | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | Schanzii | 58% | 110 |
| #3 | synthex | 57% | 261 |
| #4 | Skidmarks | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Showtime | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schanzii | 58% | 110 |
| #3 | synthex | 57% | 261 |
| #4 | Skidmarks | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Showtime | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | Peabs | 53% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synthex | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Schanzii | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Peabs | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Fat Tony | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synthex | 796 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Schanzii | 444 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Peabs | 287 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fat Tony | 171 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Showtime | 144 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synthex | +1.85 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Dillon | +1.04 | 71 | 44 |
| #3 | Showtime | +0.45 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Schanzii | -0.14 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Peabs | -0.62 | 64 | 55 |





