








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 19% |
| Smokes | 639 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 758 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,132 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skidmarks | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Peabs | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Dead Cats | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synthex | 253 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Peabs | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Schanzii | 139 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dillon | 132 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Showtime | 37 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beppa | +2.30 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | synthex | +2.10 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Showtime | +1.54 | 88 | 58 |
| #4 | Sir Pussoms | +0.96 | 31 | 44 |
| #5 | Peabs | +0.69 | 71 | 56 |





